The Belief Systems and Scars that Make Us Who We Are

Most non-fiction books are written as reputation builders. We write them because we want to be seen as experts. We want more speaking opportunities, more customers, more recognition. These “how to” books appear to be about the subject matter, but they are really about the author.

This sort of reputation-building was the motive behind my Wizard of Ads trilogy.

There is a second, less-populated category of non-fiction books whose authors have a different motive. These books appear to be about the author, but look closely and you’ll see they are about the reader.

Memoirs, when well-written, reveal the brokenness, the triumphs, and the tragedies of the author. They describe an event-filled journey.

Memoirs inspire us and make us believe that we can make a difference. They encourage us, showing us how someone else passed through this dark forest and how we can pass through it, too.

We laugh at the silly mistakes, cherish the faithful companions, cry at the suffering and loss, cheer the little victories, and feel that we know the author.

Memoirs are not written as reputation builders, but as relationship deepeners.

If you want to write a good memoir, you must make yourself vulnerable, revealing all your fears and flaws and secrets. If you don’t, you will be guilty of the sin of Margot Asquith:

“The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.”

• Dorothy Parker, in her 1925 New Yorker book review
• of The Autobiography of Margot Asquith.

Even worse, they might say of you,

“He is a self-made man and he worships his creator.”

Vulnerability is the price of intimacy. Confession is the price of trust.

Never trust the advice of a man who doesn’t limp.

It is our belief systems and our scars that make us who we are.

Do you want to build a strong culture in the company you founded? Write your memoirs.

Do you want your customers to feel like they know you? Write your memoirs.

Do you want to cast your bread upon the waters, pay it forward, help thousands of people you will never meet? Write your memoirs.

Do you want your descendants to know who you were, the clay from which they were formed? Write your memoirs.

Other people will be faced with the fears you have faced.

Other people will make the mistakes you have made.

Other people need to know the lessons you have learned.

Do you have the humility – the vulnerability – to tell us how you got your limp?

Roy H. Williams